I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
