I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
