how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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