She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
