god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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