You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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