1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
