I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
