Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
