he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
