I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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