I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
