My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
