Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize