Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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