How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
