I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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