Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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