birth control should be required to get into college
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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