that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
