You're completely useless in the revolution.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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