And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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