he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
