do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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