matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
