i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
