I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize