Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
