on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
