please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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