im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So squirting runs in the family.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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