You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
