kristin has been a bad kristin
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
