Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You can't special order awesome
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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