Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
