you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
