I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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