She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
