what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
MIDGETS
????
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
