She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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