wanna go halves on a baby?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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