school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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