well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
