So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Your penis caused this!
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