You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
