You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
