Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
