Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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