I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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