Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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