ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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