i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
