What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
