Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize