Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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