Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
