Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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