is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
