yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
