Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
