No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
