Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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