i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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