Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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