And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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