I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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