Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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