you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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