Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
