can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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