I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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