Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
